I had all of these plans this week. My to do list was ready. I had all of these writing plans this week too. Well this post wasn’t even in my plans- but it’s probably the only one I’m cranking out.
I’ve been running low since the middle of the night on Monday/Tuesday….
I would probably be saying since Monday- butttttt- I ran out of insulin in my pump early on in the day- and since I’m POLI– I decided to do injections because I was feeling lazy- and surprisingly I stayed pretty decently in target with just a few occasional moments of slipping higher. But I guess I should have taken this as a sign….
I’ve been fighting lows since that night on Monday/Tuesday. I got three hours of sleep that night… because I kept going low. Woke up once. Treated. Woke up again- lower- treated- and waited. Then back to sleep. I did a temp basal and everything. Then I woke up to get ready- and I was really low- low enough to the point I didn’t feel comfortable getting ready or walking to the T (walking to the office was so out of the question- because I pressed snooze to the point of only having enough time to take the T). So I waited- and was late to the office- with feeling more self-conscious creeping up inside (and yes- I know we’re not supposed to- but we definitely do).
I got a bagel with cinnamon sugar and had OJ- and only gave insulin for 60% of it- and didn’t pre-bolus- thinking I’m fine if I go high at this point.
A few hours later… I’m LOW! I treated. I’m riding right at the line of low after that- so I didn’t give insulin for lunch. Then around mid-afternoon- I’m low again. I treat again.
But who knows how long I was actually low- because I’m kind of ignoring my CGM- I’m getting frustrated- and am sticking to checking with my meter. I don’t want to know how futile my efforts are in treating these lows. I’d rather be in the dark.
Also- I’m still on a temp basal FOR ALL OF THIS!
I ripped out my pump site and decided to go to shots- because I want no insulin for basals- but that will eventually lead to occlusion- so I thought….mmmm better not leave the pump in. Might as well rip it out.
(not my image)
I ate a snack before heading home. No insulin. Low when I got home.
I treat. I’m out of juice. I ate pizza for dinner. No insulin.
Started going low again. So I went and bought sour patch kids- because YOLO. (also needed juice).
I ate the entire bag of them. No insulin.
LOW a few hours later….
I had my friend working night shift call me during the night a few times because I was nervous to even fall asleep.
So- I treated around 9PM for the final time. Went to sleep at 11. I was so thirsty- but too full to even think about drinking water for hydration purposes and my mouth tastes off because of all of the low treatments.
I woke up in the lower 100’s the first few times- and leave it be- I’ll take it.
Then 3:30AM hits- wake up- IN THE 300’s!….
I feel awful.
Now it’s not just a hypo hangover- it’s a BG roller coaster hangover.
I corrected- but gave less insulin than my normal correction.
Then I wake up at 6AM… LOW. I treated.
I also felt dehyrdated- ALL OF THE FUN.
and even more tired than the day before.
I had already planned on not running so my alarm was set for later- I needed more sleep. I woke up to get ready… LOW. I got ready in 10 minutes. Flew out the door. And grabbed breakfast.
You catch my drift.
I’ve mini-gluced. I’ve been over-correcting for lows. I’ve made sure to eat protein as soon as I’m up.
Sometimes it’s a fast drop. Sometimes it’s a slowwwww drop.
I’m back on my pump…. With temp basals- after I’ve made ALLLLLLLL of the adjustments. To lower everything.
And still trying to figure out what the hell is going on….
I’ve looked into everything. Habits are the same. Food and such are the same.
I mean there is a difference- I’m not working out- because… well… LOW. and that would have the opposite effect.
A fluke? Just a random hormone adjustment? I don’t feel any less or more stressed. I called my endo even. I’ve sent in my numbers.
So I’m whining now. I try to make low things fun- with “the low games.” But I’m full on pissed.
So I’m going to whine. Because ya know- sometimes it’s what you gotta do- I’m going to whine on this blog. Whine on twitter and snapchat and in text messages. Whine as I make adjustments. The works.
I mean- technically ranting? But I’ll embrace whining right now… because I AM OVER IT. And I AM TRYING.
And I’ve had my low headache this entire time too.
So my to do list is basically marked undone.
And I’m kind of beating myself up for not doing all of the things I wanted to do this week- and I know it comes with having a chronic illness- but it’s hard not to get upset and irritated.
Did my thoughts make sense? Was there even a flow? How many typos or other errors did I miss? Switching tenses? I don’t know even know…
Because- I wrote (well writing) this while low- because I’m low… again.
Reposted on Diabetes Daily March 2017
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