Sleep has become even more precious to me over the past several months, and guess what? It’s not just the diabetes. It’s not just the anxiety. Actually, it’s mostly the insomnia associated with my uncontrollable period- the PCOS and endometriosis.
And you know what happened last night? For the most part, all of the fun things going on inside my body cooperated for me! I did wake up a few times during the night- but after 3 nights in a row of terrible sleep- I’ll take it! I popped up at 6AM ready to go. Feeling like a new person.
And not only did I pop up- I actually got out of bed and moving pretty quickly (I’m slow to rise and not happy about it either- the multiple obnoxious alarms will prove that quickly).
I also didn’t get distracted- so I was out the door not just to be on time for work- but to have enough time to get a run in AND to walk the two miles from my apartment to the office!!!!
Yeah- you heard me (well you read)- the last time I woke up with enough time to do both things (and now it’s rare for just one of those things) was when all this period nonsense got worse in June of last summer (for those counting- that is 8 months). Sometimes, I struggle to do the bare minimum in the morning let alone go for a run and walk to work. Now- everything is still a mess when it comes to my period- and not close to getting sorted out- but I’m finding ways to navigate everything and acknowledging that off days aren’t my fault- and of course… happen kind of often (unfortunately).
So needless to say- I was immediately excited!
So of course- I had share my excitement on social media!
But then… 10 minutes into my walk to work… I wonder- did I remember to grab my CGM? Is it still sitting on my bed?
I quickly glanced in my bag (which is the great big bag of everything with everything inside (PLEASE SAY SOMEONE CATCHES THIS- let me know if you do) to see the world around us- this bag’s the perfect guide). But I didn’t want to stop my walk to look for it and possibly turn back around.
So I kept walking. Diabetes can be a real annoying, pesky, in the way, and inconvenient fly that you can’t quite get rid of, but you’re aware of it and annoyed.
Sometimes- it might create a roadblock or bump in the road.
Sometimes- I figure out how to navigate it or ignore it. Occasionally, I have to pause for a moment and wait for it to erode away on its own (which is okay to do- I don’t let it stop me, but sometimes I have to pick and choose my battles and maybe need to take care of myself).
This was not one of those situations. Not really even a blip on my radar- just a tweet as I giggled to myself.
If I had forgotten oh say- my insulin pump? Even that would be up for discussion to turn back since I am POLI and carry a vial of insulin and syringes with me. Now if I happen to not have those things… yeah… I’d be turning back.
I lived without a CGM for 15 out of the almost 17 years of my diabetes- and heck- people didn’t even have glucose meters at one point. I really do in a complicated and conflicted way like my CGM- but it’s not completely and totally necessary. I can use my meter.
Hey- maybe I can even have a quick one day vacation from it? I like to take those!
I survived the day just fine. I did my run, joined a meeting, checked my blood sugars every 2-4 hours (depending on things like lunch and snack time), then I walked back home.
Sometimes I forget. It happens. I’m not going to punish myself or freak out about it. I didn’t even see my forgetfulness as a blip on my radar for having a pretty dang good day (which I did). Especially when I started it so well rested productive.
I also think about the fact that not everyone wants or likes a CGM- or can afford insulin even- let alone a CGM. (plus the fact that meters weren’t always a thing even)- so I’m grateful for the privilege of having a complicated relationship with my CGM and for the occasional oops-opportunity of leaving it at home.
I really only had one concern when I got home-
Maybe the ADHD has something to do with forgetting it. But maybe… I’m also only human?
Hey you! Yes, you!
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