Give Yourself Some Credit- It’s Okay to ‘Not be Okay’

It’s okay to not be okay.

Breathe.

Say it again.

It’s okay to not be okay.

Breathe.

Say it out loud-

I’m not okay. But it’s okay to not be okay.

Because how do you move forward… if you don’t even admit the truth?

It’s okay to not be okay.

Social norms say no- but it’s still okay to not be okay.

Let yourself not be okay because then you can pull yourself out of it.

Don’t apologize for it either.

Do what you can, now.

It’s okay to not be okay.

Because eventually, you’ll be okay. It most likely won’t be an instant light-bulb moment. Maybe that starts it, but it takes time. It takes time and effort to get back to “okay.”

It’s okay to not be okay- That’s something I’ve learned over the years.

If I’m not okay- and I don’t admit I’m not okay then I don’t face it. THEN it comes to get me later- but with the domino effect in full force.

I could see myself going the direction I typically go. The mindset of I don’t have time for it right now. The mindset of “okay, so I got a new medicine. Which means everything will be back to my version of normal.” But that’s not how it works. When you’re sick for almost two months (and adjusting to new medications- a new birth control- but still waiting to figure out the thyroid), you don’t just get back to your normal in a blink of an eye. I also had to remind myself that I have amazing people in my life, and I cannot do my usual- which is shut them out.

It started hitting after about a month of my period going on and endless doctor’s appointments. It continued even after I finally got somewhere. But I had to keep taking a moment and remind myself- it takes time.

BUT I’m impatient. Once things are finally moving, I expect to already be at my destination- for everything to be fixed and handled.
In terms of this summer and this adventure of PCOS, endometriosis, and thyroiditis.

I was beating myself up about running- my first run back was a rough two miles, and I immediately thought- I just ran a half marathon– why are two miles difficult? I had to remind myself- I wasn’t supposed (and was too exhausted/sick to) work out.
I should have my life all sorted out again. So I had to keep telling myself- When you’ve been not yourself for a while- and when you get behind- it takes time to catch back up.
My blood sugars should be back to how they usually are- but my body is different and things are still getting squared away- plus I was burned out.
My body should be taking to this birth control and not having any delays- oh wait- hormones and such- that takes time.
I should be back to my usual habits- it takes time to get back into those as well.
Why are things different? This is something I always wrestle with. And forget about- Getting an official diagnosis of PCOS and endometriosis- with my thyroiditis still in full swing- means an aspect of a life change. So blood sugar management and mental health care will be different. What worked before may not work now. But it’s not just that- Things I might crave are different. My skin clears up then breaks out again- so I needed to switch my skin care routine. The times that I feel motivated to work out too have changed. Etc. etc.

But I think this applies to a lot of different things- not just moments in my life.

When stuff happens, it does change you- maybe a tiny bit or maybe a lot. When something happens, it also takes time to come back from it too. So then I need to give myself some credit- which I’m not the best at- but I’ve made a lot of improvements.