Not related to this post- I recently created a facebook page for my blog. (It’d be awesome if you liked the page and invited/shared it with people to as well!) 

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. So I went to writing and ended up scheduling this post for what will be today- I’m going with mid afternoon. 

 

This isn’t burnout of the DOC. or writing. or my job. or even the management/diabetes itself. These are the things that are actually keeping me grounded. That doesn’t mean that my pretty intense moments of diabetes burnout aren’t serving as a reminder to make sure I have self-care. I also get nervous about diabetes burnout in management and such happening again.

It’s the logistics of diabetes. The constant logistics recently. But also the years of logistics adding up. With the addition of survival mode. 

 

Recently. I’ve reached my limit. After months of constant logistics. Then the domino effect for me- well it always is. I reach my limit with one thing and then everything bubbles to the surface- even things not related to diabetes. Or I’m finally done/out of survival mode and my body and mind go- let’s shut down or take a break for a bit.

 

I’m tired. I’m annoyed. I’m disappointed in the system. I’m angry. I’m confused. I’m in a pretty consistent state of WTF. 

 

 

Between having a hard time switching insurance. The logistics of switching (even though my current insurance is awesomeeeee). The process is a lot.

But then there’s just the logistics of having problems with my insurance for years and the reminder of survival mode and hoarding medications because of fear of the unknowns.

Then there’s clinical care. Finding an endo. I thought I found one. Lucky number 7. But he’s leaving.

So now I’m moving onto lucky number 8? In a little under 3 years.

It’s tiring. So many “dates,” and it’s not working out. Getting excited. Then getting disappointed. .

So there’s the process of finding a new one. Phone calls to cancel appointments and see if maybe you can stay at the same clinic. Moving clinics is an entire extra set of steps. Asking for input from people you know in the area. Doing research. And wanting to balance your professional life with your health.

I do have an appointment now. Hopefully this one works. Needless to say, I definitely freaked out about having to find another endo… again… I’m now joking that I’m cursed. 

Then there’s getting to know each other. And going through all the motions and sharing your health history. Again. And hoping for the best. Again.

People tell me to settle and I won’t.

I know I only see this person for 15 minutes to a half hour every 3 or 6 months.

But I don’t want to dread appointments.

And as we know stuff comes up between appointments. I need someone on “Team Mindy.”

and having someone on my team is important for several reasons, like supplies.

Well my forms didn’t get sent for my pumpsites. But when I called that was fixed day of and sent overnight.

Then my pump stopped accepting cartridges easily. I completely avoided that for over a month because I didn’t want to deal with it. But when I called. I got a pump sent overnight. (I love Tandem customer service.)

But for about 3 months. I’ve been having issues with Dexcom.

First timing wasn’t on my side. The transmitter battery went low as I’m switching health insurance. Then the letters went out about alarms.

Awesome. 

Then mistakes happened along the way. And long story short. I’ve had to fight. Fight for answers. Fight for action. It’s still not over. But I think it almost is. Finally.

And I wasn’t happy that I had to fight so hard and use connections. Which I expressed and was connected to people to hear me out. Which I really appreciate. Being on hold doesn’t bother me too much. I understand when growth and circumstances, but I have a limit

 

But that doesn’t mean that it’s still not exhausting. All of the calls and research. To them, to my insurance, to my doctor.

Especially when my relationship with my CGM is already complicated. But it’s improved over time. 

And having to share with people what’s been happening again and again. Which is helpful for venting.

And having to explain again and again that I don’t want the G5. Or have it connect to my pump.

 

I’m just burned out on logistics. I’m burned out on explaining and sharing what happened, my history, hoping that things are handled, switching things and making calls, etc.

Hopefully it’ll be over in the next few weeks.

I fully know I have not been in the best mood. And I’ve been venting the same thing again and again the past few weeks. Well even months for some things.

But. After years of not finding the right people. I have.  Even those without diabetes.

I’m grateful for those who’ve offered input and let me let it out.  I probably would have completely flipped out on someone by now if it wasn’t for them.

I’m hopeful for a break in sight. Or my upcoming vacation in a few weeks. Whichever comes first!

But. I am most definitely burned out concerning logistics associated with diabetes-wait not just diabetes there’s so much more out there that requires constant logistics too (for those living with it and the people in their lives). I think it’s something that people don’t fully realize on the other side of the phone or in a doctor’s office or in whatever situation you find yourself in. I don’t know if I can demand people to understand it- but I can at least be upfront and vocal. 

 

Well that was a healing post. I feel better after writing that out!

(Example of self-care. Yay for coloring!)

Not related to this post- I recently created a facebook page for my blog. (It’d be awesome if you liked the page and invited/shared it with people to as well!) 

 

Hey you! Yes, you! 

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We’ll both be glad you did! -Mindy